I LOVE Mother's Day! It is a much needed, guilt free, day off. I call it Mother's Day weekend. I get to sleep in, dont have to cook, could maybe take a little nap if I wanted. PERFECT!
but...on this day, I am reminded that I dont like my mother. Its true! I didnt couldnt even bring myself to call her yesterday. Instead, I sent her a text. Im horrible. I struggle with it alot and it would take me an entire 500 page book to tell you all of the reasons why.
Im trying to be a better Chirstian woman and this includes respecting your mother and I just.cant.do. it! I try to rasie my girls in the exact opposite way she raised me and my sister. From things like she worked, I stay home, she had 2 girls, now I have to work on three, all the way to the words that come out of my mouth!
My husband really gets upset about this thing between me and my mom and he says "What if one day your girls didnt want to talk to you on Mother's day?" or " What if you girls dont answer the phone when you call?"All I can respond with is, " That will never happen because I will hunt them down and stalk them until they talk to me. And its true. I would definitly do that!
My mom, she wouldnt/doesnt. I really dont think she cares. She onlys cares because she wants others to think she is worlds best mom/grandma. Now I know I sound like a whiney bitch but I can tell you that I am ok with this! I have a great relationship with my grandmother and really feel like its my mom who is missing out on all this coolness!
Its just when mothers day rolls around and I am faced with the fact that I AM ok with this, that when the feelings of guilt come. The sound of her voice can put me in a bad mood for days so I just prefer to keep my distance and live my life happy! People tell me that one day I will be sad about it but I just dont think I will be. Ive lived the majority of my life dealing with this issue and have had enough therapy to come to terms with our relationship.
I have issues...but so do you right? Tell me Im right?
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