You take a look around at some of these young "ladies" out there and think, "Gee, I hope my girls never look/dress like that when they get older." Some sights actually make me throw up a little in my mouth.
Sexualizing young women in this society is a big problem! I want to find some of these parents out there to punch them in the neck and ask them what the hell they are thinking for letting their kid walk out of the house looking the way some of them do!
It makes me ask myself, how do I teach my girls to be respectable young women? How do I get them to realize they need to respect their bodies? To be modest? How do I teach them that boys really arent looking at their hearts but something a little different in that vacinity of the body?
Ive always said that I love having little girls its the teenage ones I dont want! I know how I was and it really is scary to think that they will be like me one day. I mean, dont get me wrong, I did turn out awesome. That is no thanks to my parents. They let me do whatever I wanted!
Am I overreacting? Im just trying hard now to put some good thoughts in their heads and let them know that they are beautiful every chance I get. My grandmother tells me I do it too much and that they will be big-headed but I disagree. In this world, I dont think that there is a such thing as too much love or too many compliments!
18 comments:
How could you OVER tell your daughters they are beautiful? That's crazy! This is why I am terrified to have a girl. No girls in my future (yet) but I will struggle with the same thing you are. It's scary to think what they are exposed to at such a young age now!
It scares the crap out of me too. I don't want my little one growing up thinking it's ok to dress or act like a whole lot of young ones do these days! My plan is to not let her go anywhere until she is 25!!
And I think it would be ridiculous not to tell your girls they are beautiful and loved. There can never be too much of that. I wish I could have a tape recorder attached to Mees all day so she could hear me telling her how much I love her!!! That will never stop!!!
I think us as mothers who are concerned about this need to stick together. I will put everything I have into raising my daughter to be the best she can be!
Great post! Amen. I struggle with this every day too. Not only with E, but with the boys. I don't want to perpetuate the stereotype that girls must wear a turtleneck and chastity belt while boys will be boys. wink, wink. It makes me nuts. I want my kids to respect themselves, each other AND me and Joe so that they will be able to say "No" even when their hormones are raging and every nerve in their bodies is shouting 'YES!" Because they will know that we want what is best for them-and that includes respecting their bodies and the bodies of their boyfriend/girlfriends.
Hey there lady,
Left ya something over at my bloggy blog!!!
The Princess is officially a tween and I've been agonizing over this issue since Brittany started wearing short plaid skirts and begged "Hit Me Baby One More Time" (oh hell...now that damn song is stuck in my head)
I tell my girl that she's gorgeous every day. And smart. And funny. Eventually it starts to sink in.
Self-confidence is the best gift you can give a girl.
I'll let you know in a couple of years how this strategy is working out. I may be all like "Stop! The Princess is a train-wreck! Do NOT tell your girls they're gorgeous...tell them they're ugly and stupid!"...and then I'm sure they'll turn out fabulous.
Sorry...I'll stop now.
I worry about te same things with the Peanut. She is 3 and we have already started talking about keeping certain parts of her body covered, etc. She's 3 and I don't want to have to worry about this yet, but I do.
I say just keep doing what you are doing...self confidence is the most important thing and if a girl is self confident they don't have to wear that crap some of these young teens are wearing!
i think it's so important to teach and train them in modesty while they're young! i'll be doing that with my lil' gal!!
Oh my gosh I so know what you mean! Hubby and I talk about it all the time. How to teach are kids to save themselves for marriage, Hubby wants to give the girls purity rings. Not that that would do the trick, but we want it to be meaningful to them.
Great post!
As the mother of an 12 year old (and a 5 month old), trust me, I understand! When Jaelyn was 8 she asked me if she could wear a shirt that showed her belly button like one of her cousins (on her dad's side..lol). My answer to that was, "Absolutely! When you aren't living under my roof." Then I thought about it and realized she needed an explanation. I had a talk with her about respect and how less is more..blah blah blah.
She is going to be 12 on 6/5 and she isn't anything like most of the 12 year olds I see out there. She doesn't wear makeup and she hasn't asked to. She said she thinks it's funny how the girls that wear makeup have to keep running to bathroom all day to reapply. ha! She understands that she is still a kid and she has no desire to grow up too fast. I feel so blessed. It's soo scary! I was wearing eyeliner and lip gloss when I was in 6th grade.
I worry about teaching my little guy about respecting women and understanding that what is promoted as the ideal isn't realistic.
I don't think you are over reacting at all, it is so tough to teach these kinds of ideals.
The key that is missing from many young women's lives is exactly what you are doing for your daughters! Talking to them, being there for them, and guiding them.
I know exactly how you feel! My hubby wants a little girl and all I can think about is how would she be as a teenager! I pray that my little boy doesn't grow up to think it's OK to treat women with disrespect because what is disrespectful to me is a compliment to the younger generation which is SCARY!
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www.aubutfamily.com
Hey! First of all I want you to know the comment you left on my blog had me spitting my soda out. Soooooo funny...and, because I "got it" you know I do it too.
Very good post. I have two girls and two boys, I try to teach the boys that they need to stay away from the more skankier girls. I really want them to find a good girl.
My girls are still young (3 and 5) but I like the idea od Daddy Dates. When my girls get a little older, their dad will take them out on dad and daughter dates, showing them how a reallady is suppose to be treated. I also like the idea of purity rings, I know cheesy, but I like it. How old are your girls?
I think I understand what your grandmother meant, but she also comes from a very different generation. I also tell my girls how pretty I think they are as often as I can. I want them to hear it from their daddy and myself so that it's not a big "wow" if they hear it from some hormonalized teenage boy.
Now I'm all worried about the teen years. Thanks a lot. ;)
Thanks for your comment today!
I think about this all of the time (reading my blog, it is very obvious LOL), but I try to think that staying big part of their lives and staying involved in what they do can help. I also think that we need to be honest with our kids, don't sugar coat. I tell my kids when I see someone who looks ridiculous or way too revealing. They have heard this from the time they could understand it. Parenting is so difficult - a huge job!
I tell my daughter she is beautiful every day. She now replies to anyone that tells her that with a big smile and an "I know". I'm glad she knows, but now I need to work on accepting compliments graciously :)
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